


Monsters

by Cherry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Courtroom scene, F/M, Family man Nile, From Nile's point of view, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 18:38:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1276717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry/pseuds/Cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The courtroom scene from Nile's point of view. The spoken text is mostly taken verbatim from the manga. An exploration of Nile's thoughts and feelings on the eve of the trial, and during it. Erwin Smith was Nile's friend but he's struggling to understand Erwin's present actions. </p><p>Very brief references to an event in chapter 55 of the manga so spoiler alert.</p><p>Disclaimer: Nile's views of Erwin, Levi and Eren are not necessarily the same as mine!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monsters

“Won’t you come to bed, Nile?” Marie stood in the doorway, the expensive silk shawl Nile had bought her on his last trip to Mitras’ famous market wrapped tightly around her. “It’s cold. You’ve let the fire die down to nothing.”

Nile turned to look at her, his tired eyes softening as soon as he saw her worried expression. “I have to get this right. Don’t worry, I’ll come soon. You sleep – don’t wait for me.”

Marie crossed the room to Nile’s desk, and ran one hand through his thinning hair. “You’ll work yourself to death.”

“No. No chance of that. We – we’re not noted for that in the Military Police, as that damned thug Erwin saved from the gallows never tires of telling me. But if Erwin gets his way tomorrow we’ll all be working ourselves to death – most likely literally.”

“What does Erwin have to do with it? I didn’t think you had much contact with the Survey Corps. Is this about the titan boy?”

Nile looked up at her, setting down his pen. “You’ve heard about that?”

“Of course! Lise heard it at the farmers’ market. The newspapers are full of it: the hero who changed into a titan and closed the broken gate in Trost with a giant boulder. It’s true, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Nile shook his head. “I didn’t want the children to know. Lise’s only eight – why was she going to the market alone?”

“She’s been running errands since she was six, Nile. You know she has. And she wasn’t alone – Jana went too. You can’t protect them from the truth – and anyway, this is good news, isn’t it? People are saying the titan boy is on our side – that there’s finally hope in the war against the titans.”

“Some people are saying that. Others think he’s nothing but a threat. There are those inside Sina who think he might even incite a rebellion from Rose. And his powers are unstable – according to the report on the incident, he tried to kill a fellow soldier – a girl he’d known for years.”

“But he blocked the gate. He stopped the titans from getting in.”

“Perhaps he did it so that we’d trust him. He’s inside Sina now – in a cell, yes – but _here_. Ugh. It makes my skin crawl, thinking of anything to do with the titans so close to you and the girls –” he placed one hand carefully on the swell of Marie’s belly. “And this one, too.”

Marie rested her hand over his. The baby kicked vigorously against the gentle pressure. Marie smiled, as Nile looked up at her. “You felt that?”

“Yes – yes, I did!” Although they already had two children, Nile still sounded as awed as he had been the first time. Marie’s smile faded a little. “Nile… do you think Erwin wants to use this titan boy?”

“Yes. There’s going to be a tribunal tomorrow. Erwin will try to persuade Commander Zackly to let the Survey Corps have him.”

“And you don’t think that’s a good idea?”

“No. Erwin isn’t thinking about the political situation inside the walls. He hasn’t changed – his mind was always on the outside world. He sees opportunities and discounts the danger. For months after he captured Levi, I was half expecting to hear he’d been murdered by that vicious little guttersnipe. Well, maybe I was wrong about that – although as far as I’m concerned the jury’s still out – but I’m not wrong about this. That boy is a threat to peace inside the walls, and there’s no guarantee he’ll be any use at all outside them.”

Marie’s fine eyebrows drew together. She crossed to the fireplace and went to the neatly stacked log basket, intending to add some more wood to the dwindling fire, but Nile got up from his desk and intercepted her, taking the log from her hands. “You shouldn’t be doing that!”

“It’s one log. I’m not an invalid! There are weeks to go yet.”

“It’s best to be careful.”

Marie let Nile take over, and stood watching as he placed the log onto the fire, stirring the embers with the poker.

“So, if you don’t want Erwin to take the boy, what do you think should happen to him?” Marie asked.

Nile didn’t look at her. “I have to persuade Zackly to hand him over to us.”

“And then what? Nile?”

“He turned into a titan! People are already arguing over whether he’s a hero or a demon. It’s only a matter of time before someone – someone properly _human_ – gets killed. He can’t be allowed –”

“He’s a boy, isn’t he? Just a trainee?”

“He’s fifteen, and he’s already passed out of training. I know it sounds harsh, but he’s too dangerous, Marie. We have to – dispose of him.”

“Dispose? You mean _kill_? Nile! Fifteen… You’re a father – how could you think about killing a child?”

“ _Our_ children aren’t titans! I’m doing this to make sure they never have to worry about titans – to keep you, and Lise, and Jana, and everyone else safe. I have to convince Zackly. Erwin Smith has no sense of proportion. He’ll do anything to further his quest to take humanity outside the walls – even putting all of us in danger. He’s an irresponsible gambler – and power has made him worse.”

“Five years ago I might have agreed with you,” Marie sighed. “But after Wall Maria fell, surely you can see that we have to fight the titans? If they take Wall Rose –”

“We can’t fight them. Not now they’re capable of destroying the gates. Perhaps we should have listened to the conservatives when Maria fell. The walls themselves are unbreakable, so if we blocked all the gates we’d be safe. Erwin’s talking about retaking Wall Maria, but you know as well as I do that he’s aiming for more than that. Ever since I first knew him he’s followed his childhood dream of ridding the world of titans. When I was all but a child myself, I agreed with him. But then I grew up, and Erwin never has. I think losing his father in the way that he did… Something must have changed in him, then. Look at the Survey Corps, Marie! It’s a joke! A romantic outlet for freaks and dreamers - fantasists with a death wish.”

Marie shook her head. “Maybe you’re right. But we used to think the gates were unbreakable until that new huge titan appeared. What if there are other titans – ones that can break the walls, or climb them?”

“Then we’ll fight them when – _if_ \- they come. In the meantime we can still experiment – send small groups of Survey Corps over the walls using the elevators, develop new weapons… Or maybe we _should_ try to retake Wall Maria? I don’t know. But bringing a new kind of titan inside the walls – letting it work with us, as Erwin apparently wants to do – that’s an insane risk.”

Marie sighed. “Perhaps you’re right. There was always something a bit… fanatical about Erwin. But the titan boy – what’s his name?”

“Eren. Eren Jaeger.”

“Eren. He’s still a boy, Nile.”

“I know. And if he’s really on our side, he’ll understand what has to be done. I don’t want to do this – you must know that?”

Marie nodded, and took Nile’s hand. “They won’t – I mean, if it has to happen –”

“I won’t allow him to suffer any more than necessary.”

Dropping Nile’s hand, Marie took a step away from him, horrified. “More than necessary? What – what does that mean?”

“He’s not human, Marie. His body is like a titan’s. He was devoured by a titan and survived! The report said that he lost an arm, and it grew back.”

“Oh!” Marie couldn’t help the shudder that ran through her. “But – he does feel pain?”

“I don’t know! Please, Marie – stop! I haven’t seen him – I don’t know. But I do know he’s a danger to all of us. I have to take the least risky course, for the sake of public safety – for you and the children. I can’t let myself think about this one boy at the expense of everyone else’s wellbeing. And don’t fool yourself that that’s what Erwin’s doing. He’s the last person in the world to let compassion get in the way of his goals.”

Marie bit her lip. “I know that.”

“Good. Then try to understand.”

“I do. It just – it feels wrong.”

“But it’s not wrong.”

“You’re sure about that?”

“Yes. I couldn’t do this if I weren’t.” Nile thought about the evidence he’d gathered – the disturbing facts of the boy’s life and his uncontrolled behaviour while in titan form. Erwin only saw the power of the titan, not the terror. Perhaps he’d spent too long outside the walls. “I think,” Nile said, “that it comes down to retaining our – our basic humanity. Yes. If we lose sight of what’s human and what’s monstrous… It seems monstrous to consider killing Eren Jaeger if we think of him as a human child. But that’s not what he is – not all he is. What we see, and what’s actually there… I really believe this is the only way, Marie.”

Marie nodded, her eyes shining with tears, but her expression determined. “All right – I trust you, Nile. I know you’re doing what you believe to be necessary.”

“I am. This _is_ necessary. Please, try to sleep. I have to finish looking through the evidence and writing out my arguments. I’m not – a quick thinker, like Erwin. I need to give a speech that will convince Zackly – I know I’ll never change Erwin’s mind. And I suspect that the king – well, there’s always been something of a split between the king’s implicit support of the Survey Corps and parliament’s general support for us. Both parties are keeping out of this, officially, anyway – abstaining – leaving it up to the military. Zackly’s managed to remain neutral so far – at least publicly – but he admires Erwin, I’m sure he does. If the military divides into two camps we’ll have more than the titans to worry about. I hate all this political manoeuvring. When Shardis was commander of the Survey Corps everything was so much simpler – although even then Erwin’s influence was apparent. That man –”  

“He was your friend, Nile.”

“That’s what makes it so hard! On one level, he still is. But when it comes down to choosing sides…” Nile shook his head. “I don’t know. What I do know is that he’s as convinced that he’s right as I’m sure that he’s wrong. Tomorrow isn’t going to be easy.”

x

Nile avoided looking at Erwin as the courtroom filled with soldiers and civilian representatives in preparation for the tribunal. He concentrated on his papers and ran through his arguments, trying not to allow himself to become distracted by Erwin’s little shadow, Levi, who was staring at him with an unreadable but disturbing gaze.

Nile had done his best to influence matters, greeting Commander-in-chief Zackly at the door of his carriage with his smartest salute, but the only acknowledgement he’d received had been a vague nod and a comment about the hot weather. He’d been unable to track down the garrison commander, Dot Pixis, and had no idea whether he’d openly support either the Military Police or the Survey Corps, but Pixis had intervened to prevent Eren’s death in Trost, which didn’t bode well. If only he’d arrived too late, Eren would have been killed in the field and the current mess would have been avoided. Rumour had it that Pixis was a drunk who preferred women to work, but it seemed to Nile that the old man could be remarkably sharp when he wanted to be.

Rather to Nile’s annoyance, he found himself positioned next to two Wall Cult priests. They would probably advocate Eren’s death, but their extreme views about the sanctity of the walls were likely to lose more support than they gained. Nile looked up as the doors opened and Eren Jaeger was escorted into the room. Members of Nile’s brigade manacled him to the thick steel post used for restraining dangerous prisoners, but Nile had no illusions that it would be of any use if Eren changed into a titan.

Just as Zackly had observed, it was a stiflingly hot day. The air in the courtroom was already so stuffy Nile could hardly breathe. He looked up as the prisoner raised his head, and Nile found himself meeting the confused green eyes of Eren Jaeger. Marie had been right; he was just a boy. He looked tired and anxious. Nile wondered if anyone had explained to him what was about to happen. Did he even know that he was on trial?

Commander-in-chief Darius Zackly pushed back his chair, rolled up his shirtsleeves and adjusted his glasses. Never one to stand on ceremony, he launched straight into proceedings, explaining the situation to Eren, and asking him whether he had any objections to being tried in a military tribunal rather than a civilian court. The boy gave his consent to the proceedings unflinchingly, even when Zackly made it clear that Eren’s fate was entirely in his hands. Titan or not, Nile thought, the kid didn’t lack courage.

After his brief, factual explanation to Eren, Zackly turned immediately to Nile. Nile gave the necessary introduction and then forced himself to speak clearly and decisively although a part of him wanted to shrink beneath the steady gaze of the child he intended to execute. _The titan_ , he reminded himself, as he laid out his plan to have Eren’s body examined and then disposed of. Saying that this course of action would make Eren ‘a martyr for the human race’ did nothing to lessen Nile’s feelings of guilt as he spoke the words aloud, but he had to make Zackly understand the danger that Eren’s very existence posed. The central government and the royal family, as usual, were doing nothing. The inhabitants of Wall Rose saw Eren as a hero, the Sina merchants, the nobility and the wall cultists, who seemed to be enjoying a period of unprecedented influence at court and beyond, saw that as a threat. Civil war threatened. Surely, even blinded by his single-minded desire to defeat the titans as he was, Erwin Smith could see that much?

As he’d feared, Nile’s case wasn’t helped by the furious interruptions of the wallist priest, Pastor Nick, who ranted about Eren being a ‘heretic’ who had dared to profane the sacred walls. Thankfully Zackly had the sense to shut him up quickly, turning to Erwin and asking for the Survey Corps’ proposal.

Nile looked across at Erwin, standing there so damned calm and put-together in his immaculate uniform with his perfect hair and his ridiculously handsome face. Nile felt Erwin’s appearance gave him an unfair advantage that the man never failed to exploit. Perhaps that was why he kept that dwarfish thug so close, Nile thought bitterly – to make him seem even taller. Erwin looked so much the perfect soldier that people rarely stopped to question his motives.

Erwin spoke, his voice deep and measured, betraying nothing but absolute confidence. He addressed Zackly as though there was no one else in the courtroom. “We plan to induct Eren into the corps as a fully-fledged member, and use his titan power to take back Wall Maria. That is all.”

Shit. Just the sort of crap Zackly would respond to. And now Nile’s carefully prepared argument seemed verbose and overly-complex. Erwin was a born politician and Nile had been prepared for a detailed counterattack. Trust Erwin to find a way to make simplicity into a weapon!

Even Zackly seemed surprised by the brevity of Erwin’s reply, asking him if that was really all he wanted to say. But Erwin only nodded firmly. “Yes, Sir. With his strength we can recover Wall Maria. I believe our priorities are clear.”

Zackly considered. Nile gave him his due; although he suspected that the Commander-in-chief admired Erwin, Nile could see that he was clearly weighing all the evidence. Retaking Wall Maria, even assuming Eren’s titan strength could be controlled, wouldn’t be easy now that the Trost gate was sealed. Zackly questioned Pixis about that, and he confirmed that the Trost gate would never open again. Nile scanned Pixis’ face for any clue as to which side of the argument he favoured, but the man was unreadable.

Erwin explained that the Survey Corps would aim to travel from Karanes, in the east, which would mean starting from scratch, after months of establishing a supply route to Shiganshina from Trost. Levi’s jaw tightened noticeably at that; he probably resented the prospect of so much extra work, Nile thought.

“Hold on!” a new voice cried out. Some conservative, suggesting that all the walls should be blocked up permanently. Well, Nile conceded, he’d had the same thought himself at times. As the man pointed out, the gates were the weak points. If those were blocked, then -

“You’re full of talk, you pig.” Nile was surprised when Erwin’s slum-rat spoke. His voice was low, not loud, but clear and full of suppressed passion. “Where’s your guarantee that the titans will wait patiently while we wall up the gates?” Levi asked. “You’re talking about my friends, who protect you while you get fat. You pigs take no notice of the people who can’t eat because there isn’t enough land!”

Nile wondered how Erwin failed to see the irony of a former murderous little thief having the barefaced impudence to take the moral high ground against a respectable citizen.  If Erwin had recruited Levi _after_ the fall of Wall Maria Nile might have been able to understand it as a case of desperate times calling for desperate measures. But Levi had joined the corps at least a year before that event – the event that had led them all to this fucked up situation where they were seriously debating whether asking for a titan’s help was a good idea. Erwin would clearly stop at nothing when it came to using monsters in his cause. Nile was about to say something to that effect when Pastor Nick, standing beside him, started bawling at the conservative for daring to suggest that mere humans should have the temerity to even think of laying a hand on the divine walls. Once again, Zackly had the sense to interrupt him, bringing the attention of the court back to Eren Jeager, who had been following the proceedings with gradually increasing agitation, so it seemed to Nile.

And at last Zackly appeared to be asking questions pertinent to Nile’s argument, questioning the prisoner about his intention to join the Survey Corps, and asking him directly whether he thought he could use his titan power for the benefit of the human race. Eren answered with fierce determination in his intense eyes, “Y – yes, sir! I Can!” Nile was about to object, when Zackly brought up the very point he’d been about to make – the report that gave details of Eren’s attack on his comrade and adopted sister Mikasa Ackerman, while in his titan form.

Nile watched Eren closely. This was the key point. However good the human boy’s intentions, if he couldn’t control his titan power then it was clearly too dangerous to use. The horrified expression on Eren’s face told Nile all he needed to know: the boy didn’t even remember losing control. Nile felt no triumph, but a profound sense of relief filled him. Surely Zackly had no choice now - the boy would die. It was unfortunate – upsetting – but better than unleashing a monster inside the walls.

With obvious reluctance, and a dark glance at Squad Leader Rico who had written the report, Mikasa Ackerman confirmed the facts: Eren had swung his fist at her, but, she was quick to point out, he had also saved her while in titan form – twice. Nile felt victory slipping away, and clutched his papers, making use of the last card in his hand. He hoped it would be enough.

“I know why you’re taking Eren’s side,” Nile said. He turned to address the whole court. “While investigating Eren’s background, I came across an incident from six years ago. Astonishingly, when these two were nine years old, they stabbed three adult robbers to death. Their actions are understandable; it was legitimate self-defence…” Nile paused, taking a breath. Everything came down to whether Zackly would accept his conclusions about the significance of the incident he’d just described. “…Yet,” Nile continued, “it raises doubts as to Eren’s basic humanity. Should we entrust him with the lives, the resources, and the very fate of the human race?”

The court erupted. People were shouting, pointing at Eren, agreeing with Nile. One man pushed forward, his finger jabbing in Mikasa’s direction. “That one too! How do we know _she’s_ human?”

Someone else cried, “Yeah – that’s right! We should dissect them both!”

Eren Jaeger’s furious voice rang out over the hubbub. “NO!” The court fell silent. “I may be a monster,” Eren cried – and surely that admission would be enough to damn him?  - “But Mikasa has nothing to do with it! She’s not involved! And what’s more, everyone’s just saying whatever speculation happens to be convenient to them! But once you’ve cut yourselves off from reality, it’s all pointless!” Eren glared around the courtroom. “In the first place,” he continued, consumed by passionate emotion, “you people have never even seen a titan, so what are you so afraid of? What can we do when the people who have power don’t fight? If you’re afraid of fighting for your own lives, then please help _me_! You – _cowards_! Just – shut your mouths – and invest everything in me!” Eren’s manacles clanged against the metal post as he lurched up on his knees, carried away by his anger. There were terrified gasps from around the court, and then silence. Nile turned to his sergeant, forcing himself to control his panic. It wasn’t the heat in the stifling courtroom that was making the cold sweat break out on his brow. “Stand ready!” he commanded.

“Sir!” The sergeant raised his rifle.

Nile registered the blur of something in rapid motion in his peripheral vision, and then heard a sickening crunch as Captain Levi’s boot made contact with Eren’s jaw. Something hit the floor with an audible click and went skittering across the floor, leaving a fine trail of blood in its wake. Was that a _tooth_?

Nile could only stare in shocked incomprehension as Erwin’s thug laid into the helpless boy. Had Levi lost it completely? But, no, Nile realised, his eyes on Levi’s face as he slammed his knee into Eren’s face and threw him to the ground – Levi wasn’t acting in anger at all. His face was impassive. There was no trace of sadistic satisfaction – or of compassion either. No human emotion was visible at all; all Nile saw was a monster subduing a monster.

Pausing with his foot on Eren’s head, Levi spoke calmly. “This is just my personal opinion – but I’ve always found pain the most effective punishment.  The lesson you need to learn right now can’t be taught with words only with action.” Almost conversationally, Levi added, “And you’re kneeling, which makes you easier to kick.” Levi paused. Apart from Eren’s ragged panting, and the pained, short breaths of Mikasa Ackerman who was being forcibly restrained by her blond friend, the courtroom was silent. Levi resumed, kicking Eren again and again. The soles of his boots left bloody prints on the polished wood of the courtroom floor. Nile watched, frozen. Marie would be horrified. Why was no one doing anything to stop such inhuman brutality? That poor boy – that _child_ \- but he was a _titan_ \- He was a titan…

“Levi - wait!” Nile cried, his voice catching.

Levi looked up at him, his boot on Eren’s face, and his own eyes expressionless. “What?”

“It’s dangerous,” Nile warned. “What will we do if you make him angry and he turns into a titan?”

Levi let Eren fall to the floor. “What are you talking about?” he asked. Grabbing Eren’s hair, Levi raised the boy’s battered head so that the onlookers could see his face. “You’re the ones who want to dissect him, right?” Levi asked. God, Nile thought, he sounds almost _bored_!  But the point wasn’t lost on Nile as Levi continued, “He apparently killed twenty titans when he was a titan himself, stopping only out of exhaustion. The fact that he has intelligence could make him a formidable enemy. But he’s not _my_ enemy.” Levi scanned the crowd before returning his cold gaze to Nile. “Is he _yours_?”

Nile wondered who the hell had taught that street-rat how to play to an audience like this. As if he didn’t know. He glared at Erwin Smith, whose apparently calm eyes were on Levi. He looked as emotionless as Levi had, but Nile could sense his tension – Erwin knew victory was within his grasp.

“Everyone who’s persecuted him should think carefully, too,” Levi said. “I wonder… could you really kill him?”

Ah. Nile forced his shoulders straighter to avoid slumping visibly. He hadn’t even considered that. He’d assumed Eren would follow orders – giving his life for humanity, if that was what Zackly decided. But he’d negated his own argument, trying to show that Eren didn’t have control. The sickening truth was that Levi was right. What if Eren Jaeger couldn’t be killed? Only one person could be sure of killing him in his titan form.

Erwin raised his hand, for all the world as though he were a polite pupil back in his father’s school. “Commander-in-chief, I have a proposal,” he said.

 _Of course you do_ , Nile thought. _Of course._

“There are many unknown elements to Eren’s titan power,” Erwin said. “Danger will always be lurking beneath the surface.”

Nile stared at him, thinking bitterly about _surfaces_.

“Therefore,” Erwin continued, “in the event that you decide to put him under our control, I would team him with Captain Levi, as a failsafe. Someone as skilled as Levi would be able to deal with Eren even in a worst-case scenario.”

“I see,” said Zackly. Nile’s heart sank. “Levi, can you do it?”

“If you mean killing him, it’s no problem,” Levi replied, his voice as colourless as his eyes. “Rather, the problem is, there would be no half measures.”

Zackly steepled his hands under his chin. “I see we’ve exhausted this line of enquiry. I will now make my decision –”

“Please wait!” cried Nile, thoughts of Marie and the girls, and that monster loose inside the walls with only Levi – or with Levi – He turned from Zackly to Erwin – Erwin who had been his friend – who had seemed to care about Marie, too. “Erwin!” Nile almost pleaded, “I want to ask you… What will you do about the interior?”

It was a defeat; Nile knew that. It wasn’t Erwin’s place to do anything about the interior. The Survey Corps had no jurisdiction inside the walls. But Erwin had his monsters, and Nile was only human.

Erwin sounded so reasonable – so damned _civilised_ – as he replied, “I’m quite aware that our activities outside the wall depend upon the stability of the human race. I don’t take the problems of the interior lightly. We’ll prove that Eren is a valuable asset to humanity in our next expedition beyond the wall. I would like to decide his future based on those results.”

“I see,” said Zackly. “So you’re going outside the wall.”

Nile looked at him. Shouldn’t _Zackly_ be the one to decide on the movements of the Survey Corps? Erwin – how had Erwin become _this?_ And yet, there was hope. If that monster died outside the wall…

“Then it’s settled,” Zackly concluded. “Eren Jaeger is placed in the care of the Survey Corps. However, he may return here, depending upon his accomplishments.”

Nile watched as his own men unlocked Eren’s manacles, and Erwin Smith, followed, as always, by Levi, led the boy away. Eren was limping and his face was a mess of blood and dark bruises, but he went with them so willingly that Nile’s gut twisted. The monster knew its kind – but of the three of them, Nile feared Erwin most.

Now all that remained was for Nile to wait, and hope, and feel guilty that what he hoped for was a titan to kill a boy who was half-titan. In the meantime, he would keep working, doing what he could to protect humanity and his own beloved family – his wife, his daughters, and the child who was yet to be born.

 


End file.
